Chief complaints from patients would be so interesting if we changed the wording.
Follow my logic here.
For instance, if someone comes in completely slobberingly drunk, the chief complaint should not be “drunk,” instead it should be:
“He used to be thirsty.” See he solved a problem!
A teen male comes in with scrotum caught in zipper?
“Learned patience the hard way”
When my brother closed the jack-knife onto his finger?
“Learned to pay better attention around knives, (dummy)”
Or, when I broke my thumb by going off a jump in the ski-park area on the slopes:
“Not 18 any more”
Perhaps the injuries of all the young males trying to become parkour experts would have
“Tested gravity, still working” OR
“Decided on early Vasectomy” OR
“Failed out of Ninja training.” OR
“Checked if bones were stronger than cement, nope”
I definitely feel bad for these people, but, all of them chose this activity. You be the judge.
Warning: Naughty words and multiple people repeatedly making terrible choices (Failed Ninja Training)