Well… What If I DO Want Brain Damage?

It’s often the little things in life that make a difference.

A kind smile to the lady having a bad day. A quick gesture of assurance, kindness, or the little extra time spent with a loved one to really show that you care. The quick note just saying “I love you.”

The small choices can make a big difference.

I don’t like telling people that they are wrong.  However, in a few instances, I’m going to keep saying it.

1. Smoking. (I’ll keep beating this dead horse until the carcass is only delicious horse mulch)

2. Seatbelts.  They save lives.  Not too long ago I took care of a patient who was found in the back of a truck.  Unfortunately it was not his truck. it was the back of the truck he had just rear-ended.  He went through his window and landed there.

3.  Helmets (both bike and motorcycle).  Now this is the issue many people seem to get angry about.

Here in Michigan people are not required to wear helmets.  The law was repealed a bit ago.




The argument against helmets was this:

“I know it’s stupid NOT to wear a helmet, but I want it to be MY choice to be stupid and it only affects me!”

People hate being forced to not be stupid.

People snuggle their bad decisions like a cuddly St. Bernard.  Then they are surprised when he licks their faces with the slobber of consequences. The slobber of consequences, however, often hurts more people than yourself.  Hmm, weird analogy.

Let’s make up an example. I’ll just pick a name by typing in slobbering dog… the first I found… Bruno. Perfect.

Also, for effect, Bruno will talk like Captain Caveman from the old Hanna-Barbara cartoons.

BRUNO: Unga-Bunga, me no need helmet, if me get hurt, me not care! Me strong!

ME: But Bruno, with less than 10 seconds, you can reduce the chance of serious injury

BRUNO: Me drive good, no me need! Unga! Me no crash before, me no plan to! Why you plan to crash?

ME: No one plans to crash, Bruno, but don’t you realize-

BRUNO (interrupting): If me be dead, no me care! Me make worms strong since they eat strong Bruno!

ME: But what if you’re just seriously injured? Head injuries can cause horrific long-term, preventable consequences that-

BRUNO: -and me have skull, so me have inside helmet from God. You think you better than God? You say you a doc, but you no know skull is in head. Skull strong. Me safe with skull. Go skull go!

ME: But that doesn’t-

BRUNO: -and if me no get hurt bad, how me get disability for many years? Me just get cool race wheelchair! Me go vroom and have modifications to wheelchair so it go 70! Me go vroom and pass you on right in your hippy prius you drive so slow in fast lane.

ME: What!? I don’t even drive a Prius and what does that have to do-

BRUNO: Unga-Bunga! Seatbelts make you hippy. My arms strong. You have puny arms, you can wear belt for wimps if you want. Me get it fights and block punches with face, that be how strong Bruno is!

ME: I’m pretty sure I’m not winning this with you-

BRUNO: Unga, you just now getting it?


Hmm, I planned for me to win that argument, but you can’t win arguments with the Bruno’s of the world. Thus, instead of them facing the consequences of their actions, the rest of us must deal with it.

Like so many things that occur in the ER I find that logic simply doesn’t apply.

Like I always say, and ounce of prevention is worth a pounding in the arse by a constipated St. Bernard, or something like that.

Do you always wear your helmet and/or seat belt?

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