All people have superpowers. Some powers are better than others; however, we all have them. Do you never lose socks in the dryer? Yeah, that’s your superpower, try defeating Loki with that one, chump.
Some people have more than one. I discovered one of mine while on my med-school rotation for Nuclear Medicine (that’s fancy talk for “really boring X-ray work”). This was ten years ago, so hopefully the innocent mentioned in the story have forgotten about me.
At the beginning of this rotation, I desired to learn and to become a better person and possibly better physician. It took me about 45 minutes to realize that I had already learned enough, and that the remaining 30 days, 7 hours, and 15 minutes was going to be agony in a small room looking at pictures.
Please, don’t get me wrong, the world needs nuclear medicine doctors. We need to see HIDA scans and MUGA images. We need people to sit in tiny rooms with many other people looking at bone-scans for hours on end. The world needs this, but that person does not need to be me.
Back to super-powers, I learned about my first super-power when I swam in high school. I learned that I often had to defecate during practice time. This came with a distinct problem, there was never time for such activity, or was there… You see, I learned of my ability by necessity, similar to the X-men, around the time of puberty. I cannot explain it, nor do I try. I do not want to brag, but I am, as far as I know, the world’s fastest pooper. Oh, sure, on occasion I can sit on the toilet and read a book like normal humans. But for me, that is mostly for show. I can go from fully clothed to washing my hands in under 60 seconds (I’ve timed it) and that is NOT with a bunch of straining and forcing the issue. No. No sir. This is simple, standard, relaxing the O-ring and letting the chocolate thunder find its way to the stink-pond. Sit. Open. Out. Done. To be honest, I don’t know what takes everyone else so long, but perhaps Superman wonders why bullets bounce of him as well. I tell you all of this, since I wanted to lead into my newly discovered superpower I found in my Nuclear medicine rotation, which is:
INVISIBILITY TO RADIOLOGISTS
That’s right. Complete and utter invisibility, I was still learning to control my ability (again like the uneducated X-men students, I have not fully mastered my powers), but I know they are there, even when I do not want to use them.
I sat outside, alone, eating my lunch in the bright sunshine in full view anything (or thought in full view). Then, three doctors I had worked with for an entire month I saw walking towards me down the sidewalk. They walked slowly and awkwardly, since most of their lives they spent sitting down. I said “hi Dr. Crotchenburg (names changed to protect the arrogant).” All looked at me and I think one surely looked directly through me, yet none of them recognized me, nor said anything, nor really acknowledged my presence. When I saw them after lunch they again greeted me as if nothing happened. Invisible. I’m sure I could have thrown my lunch at them and they might have thought it came from the sky.
I thought it was just an odd quirk during medical school, but during residency, when I actually did a rotation with Radiologist, the same thing happened. Now that I’m a practicing doc, to be honest, I don’t know if I have ever seen a single radiologist. The ones I work with are all very nice, but I have ONLY spoken with them over the phone. Uh oh, perhaps they have become invisible to me? I don’t know.
I’m not sure how I will use either of my super powers to save the world, unless a radiologist becomes an evil super villain, which I suppose is possible.
(click Ultra-Man to go back to Dr. Bloggy)