HOW IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED (What I’m thinking is in parenthesis)
Me: So what brings you to the ER today Bryttanee? (this girl smells like a chimney)
Bryttanee the Super-genius: I’m really short of breath. I’ve had a cough and can’t breath for 2 months.
Me: Alrighty. Well, it says here you have asthma, right (2 months? Today is an emergency because…)
Supergenius: Yeah, but whatever, I don’t think it’s that.
Me: Uh-huh. Have you been taking your medications (why do I ask questions when I know the answer)
SG: Whatever, no. I can’t afford them, they cost too much.
Me: Oh, sorry. You know most of them are really cheap, like 4 dollars, and some of the are free.
SG: Whatever, well, I don’t like taking them either.
Me: I see (I don’t see)
SG: Phenergan with Codeine cough syrup is the only thing that helps
Me: Yeah, this is asthma (now I see)
SG: You think so?
Me: Do you smoke (we both know this answer)?
SG: Not much.
Me: How much do you smoke? (why are you lying to me)
SG: Well, I’ve been cutting down with this cough.
Me: How much do you smoke? (your lies makes puppies and pandas cry)
SG: About five cigarrettes a day
Me: Really? (poor, sad, sad panda)
SG: I mean, about a pack a day.
Me: You know, you really shouldn’t smoke (duh) especially if you are an asthmatic.
SG: Whetever, I’ve heard that before
Me: You know, If you stopped smoking for 1 week, you could all of your medications for a few months.
SG: Yeah, well, I don’t think that’s causing this.
Me: You’re a wheezing asthmatic smoking a pack of cigarettes every day (why do I keep trying logic?)
SG: So, can I get an antibiotic and some Phenergan cough syrup?
Me: No. But a breathing treatment and steroids actually might help (please don’t say “whatever”)
Here’s some motivation for you smokers out there…
Though this might be the better motivation for all the male smokers…
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