Sometimes a patient comes along that makes the whole shift amaze-balls.
I walk into the room.
The patient stops singing because of course he is singing at the top of his lungs a song that only he knows.
Me: Hello, what brings you into the ER today.
Patient: Wow, aren’t you just my sexy honeybun.
Me: (not sure what to say)…
Patient: (starts singing for a little bit. Then my midlevel walks by the room, she has white hair). “Heeeeey girl! Look at your hair, girl you got it going on! You look like a sexy Mrs. Clause!”
Then, every time I went near the room he kept yelling out praises for me. I had my only personal cheering squad. It was marvelous.
I needed this patient. He pretty much made the rest of the shift fantastic. I continued to tell my scribe for the rest of the shift to refer to me as Dr. Honeybun.
Though, I also had a patient angry that I did not prescribe her a medication. She was NOT angry about not getting narcotics. Nope. You see, it was the night after a thunderstorm. She had been woken up by thunder. Then she came to the ER. Cheif complaint: Struck by lightning. While in bed. Inside a house. No pain. No burn. House was fine. She woke up and believed to her core that she had been struck by lightning.
Her: I need some medicine for this.
Me: For what?
Her: I got struck my lightning!
Me: Ah. Well, is anything wrong?
Her: It was very scary.
Me: I’m sure it was, and how are you now?
Her: I’m fine, nothing is wrong now, but I need medicine.
Me: For the lightning?
Me: Ma’am, I’m afraid there isn’t any “got struck by lightning” medicine.
Her: Are you sure?
I still love my job, you just can’t make it up
REMEMBER TO LIKE/SHARE YOU SEXY HONEYBUNS!