Drugs? Oh sure, Gotta have Drugs. 1

So the CDC recently came out with new recommendations about narcotics.

Let me summarize: Don’t give everyone narcotics.

After several years of studies, it turns out that people really like drugs.

Some ER’s have gone so far as to no longer prescribe any opiates out of their ER. (It’s true, click here!).  I have mixed feelings about this.  I know thousands are addicted to these drugs, and some even go on to much worse addictions such as heroin.  This is bad. Bad bad bad.  However, I do feel some medical problems (kidney stones, broken bones, etc) requires something stronger than a Tylenol and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle bandaid.

Such a dilemma.

I don’t want to create or facilitate the continuation of addiction, but at the same time, I fear neglecting patients with serious acute pain.

Then I found the answer to all of the problems.

All I have to do is get all my patients to treat their ailments with scorpions.

All I have to do is get my patients addicted to scorpions.

I know what you are thinking, is this like the Krokodil drug that has a cute name but causes horrific skin problems? (only click if you have a strong stomach)

What are scorpions?

Well, it turns out these are actually the venomous animal.

Well, it’s not some fancy street term for a wacky new drug.

This is something I found on the internet, so, you know, it like, totally has to be true and junk.

scorpion drug

This may be a total load of crap, but part of me hopes this is real.

I understand that bonkers crazy idiots are doing this because they are nutballs… however…

I would love to prescribe scorpions stings to people to treat their pain.

All that I could think of when watching this was a cartoon (Sealab 20201) I saw years ago, and it made me feel all warm inside (much like getting stung!) with the nostalgia.

This scene is where a guy is pinned under a pop machine and he befriends a scorpion he calls “Ben…”  OK, well, it doesn’t need to make sense to be fantastic.

Enjoy :)

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One thought on “Drugs? Oh sure, Gotta have Drugs.

  • Gregory J. Hayes, MA, LLPC

    As a Mental Health/Substance Abuse Counselor (and I workied as a tech in Dr. Brandt’s ER) I find the scorpion idea interesting to say the least. That aside, I agree there is in fact a need for some pain killers for somethings. That being said, medical providers SHOULD NOT be “graded down” when they refuse to provide narcotics. I work with the people who have abused drugs, sometimes its alcohol, sometimes opiates or other drugs. I have seen people ‘fake it’ to to get these drugs. What is the answer, education yes for patients and perscribers. If pain medications are perscribed for long term, there is a need to manage it and that may mean using professionals like me to assist the medical providers. I stand ready to assist medical providers – addiction sucks.