ER Quotes #3 4

A semi-fresh tasty batch of quotes and other insanity overheard in the ER.  Enjoy.




Patient:  “I gotta see if there’s a baby up on in here so I can get it out”





Patient (after snorting out a blood clot the size of a large garden slug from a nosebleed): “I got something for your toast!”





Dr. R:  “The patient needs something.  In fact, he needs a cold pill.  A very cold pill.  Perhaps even a chill pill?”






Nurse “But what if there was a policy that you HAD to wear a white coat?”

Me: “Then I would ignore the policy”

Nurse: “What if they bought you a white coat?”

Me: “Then I would put it in the trash, next to my copy of the policy”





Pharmacist:  “Just in case, if anyone needs anything anywhere… I can help”






(waiting for  C. Diff room to be cleaned)  “Just tell the next patient not to rub her rectum on anything.”






Nurse:  “I believe my patient may be a dementor, she is sucking the soul out of me”






PA to me:  “You are kinda like a kiwi, a bit fuzzy, yet succulent”





Nurse: “I don’t even want to look at the post-delivery vagina.  That’s like a trampled wizards sleeve.”




(And for the Starwars and Yoda fans out there)       “It was just scary.  She was over 450 pounds and had an STD.  When she opened her legs it was like Degobah in there.”



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