ED Quotes #10


allergy

 

Things overheard in the ER, round 10.

 

Nurse on phone: “Oh, well, that’s nice that you’re going to donate your body.”

 

 

 

Doctor: “So why is he here?”

Police: “Yeah, um, I guess he was attacking a house with a spatula.”

 

 

 

 

Nurse: “Who?  What’s her name?”

PA: “Well, her name should be Mrs. I can see your vulva from the doorway…”

 

 

 

 

Nurse: “How much more do they want? I’ll give him a big ‘ole skin to skin hug, tell ’em don’t mind my hairy areolas.”

 

 

 

 

Tech:  “I don’t think I can run troponins…”

Scribe: “Well, not with that attitude.”

 

 

 

Inebriated patient: “HEY!  No one’s waited on me yet!”

 

 

 

 

 

Resident:  “Yeah my face swells up when I drink coffee, but I’ll be OK.”
Doc: “So help me, if I have to intubate you I’m spitting down your throat before I tube you!”

 

 

 

 

Random Tweet: What if all of Harry Potter is just a kid with a concussion after being tricked to run head first into a concrete wall.

 

 

 

 

PA:  “I had a patient with chlamydia, gonorrhea, and trichomonas.  All three.  That’s a hat trich. hahahaha!”

 

 

 

 

Tech:  “Who?  Brandt?  He doesn’t know anything about fashion, just look at him!”

Brandt:  “But… but, I’m just wearing scrubs!”

 

 

 

 

Nurse: Blech, vagina’s are just ugly.

Scribe: Maybe it’s just the name.  What if they were just called squiggle feathers?

 

 

 

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