Quotes Heard in the ER: Part 8 1

Just a few things overheard in the ER:



Patient (in bathroom, naked): COME ON IN!

Nurse: Well, Ok, I have a toothbrush and toothpaste for you

Patient: I only have 2 teeth, that’ll last me forever!




Me:  She’s sick.  Let’s put her on some O’s for S’s and G’s.




Nurse:  Thinking pretty hard huh?  Toot toot, here comes the struggle bus.




Tech:  You have a great tan!  Have you been in the sun much?

Patient:  I have a liver disease.




Me (to resident):  Are you kiding me?  At any given time, about 65% of the nursing staff in the ER are pregnant.

Resident: No.  Not really.

Me (to random, not pregnant appearing nurse) “How far are you along?”

Nurse:  Actually, I’m almost 20 weeks.

Me:  (speechless)




PA:  Yipes, what’s wrong with the patient in room 24.  She looks likes yesterdays Rice Crispies.





Nurse 1:  My hip is hurting and my mom had a hip replacement at 50

Nurse 2: Wow, so no one in your family keeps their legs together?





Nurse:  Is it wrong if you get sulfuric acid and poop on your face


Nurse: The good news is I don’t need a plummer anymore.




PA:  Good looks isn’t everything.   Not in houses, not in spouses.




Inebriated Gentleman (angrily to security): You a lion!  You a lioness!  You a lion!

Security 1: Is he talking about Hakuna Matata?

Security 2: Hakuna more Vodka?  It means no memories, for the rest of last night?




Nurse:  I love my dog’s balls.  I want to call him jingle balls and paint them green and red.




Nurse:  I’m pretty sure it’s the easiest thing ever.  There’s just a hole and you shove it in.

Doc:  We are still talking about a catheter, right?


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