Just a few things overheard in the ER:
Patient (in bathroom, naked): COME ON IN!
Nurse: Well, Ok, I have a toothbrush and toothpaste for you
Patient: I only have 2 teeth, that’ll last me forever!
Me: She’s sick. Let’s put her on some O’s for S’s and G’s.
Nurse: Thinking pretty hard huh? Toot toot, here comes the struggle bus.
Tech: You have a great tan! Have you been in the sun much?
Patient: I have a liver disease.
Me (to resident): Are you kiding me? At any given time, about 65% of the nursing staff in the ER are pregnant.
Resident: No. Not really.
Me (to random, not pregnant appearing nurse) “How far are you along?”
Nurse: Actually, I’m almost 20 weeks.
PA: Yipes, what’s wrong with the patient in room 24. She looks likes yesterdays Rice Crispies.
Nurse 1: My hip is hurting and my mom had a hip replacement at 50
Nurse 2: Wow, so no one in your family keeps their legs together?
Nurse: Is it wrong if you get sulfuric acid and poop on your face
Nurse: The good news is I don’t need a plummer anymore.
PA: Good looks isn’t everything. Not in houses, not in spouses.
Inebriated Gentleman (angrily to security): You a lion! You a lioness! You a lion!
Security 1: Is he talking about Hakuna Matata?
Security 2: Hakuna more Vodka? It means no memories, for the rest of last night?
Nurse: I love my dog’s balls. I want to call him jingle balls and paint them green and red.
Nurse: I’m pretty sure it’s the easiest thing ever. There’s just a hole and you shove it in.
Doc: We are still talking about a catheter, right?