For those of you who are easily grossed out… how on earth did you ever make it to my blog?
So I was working with a wonderful, brilliant, young resident the other day, I word it this way, since I feel so very sorry.
You see, it all started with an abscess. It was hard, it felt like a plum under the skin, I figured we would get good results and help the patient out. We would numb it up, insert a blade, drain out some puss and everyone would be happy.
So we did.
We cleaned it off.
(Duh-Duhn (Cue Jaws theme music))
We numbed it up.
We grabbed our 11 blade
(Duh-Duhn Duh-Duhn Duh-Duhn)
We shoved the blade in… aaaaand… just a little puss came out. Not much. Oh well.
I tell you this story, so that I can tell you what happened the next day.
We had another patient, with another abscess.
We did the same thing.
He drove the 11 blade in…
…and in 0.2 nanoseconds it splattered against the wall.
The patient asked why his legs were wet.
Me, being the smooth-talking, fast-thinker that I am, responded “Uh, that’s just some of the anesthetic,” because on some planet that answer might make sense.
The we proceeded to drain about a half gallon of rancid oatmeal and silly putty from the abscess.
It was awesome.
Also, somehow, none of it got in either of our mouths, big plus!
Here’s a video of a cow getting a small abscess drained by the veterinarian, you’re welcome