A Letter to My Brain


Dear Sleep,
Hey again, it’s me. I know you’ve probably been busy, hanging out with a bunch of other people, but I was just hoping that you and I could get together again soon. I know the schedule has really cramped our “hanging out” time, but hopefully you can come over, maybe just for 4-5 hours? My wife misses you too!

Hope to see you soon! Seriously! Really really really!!! Please!!!!!

Sleep(ok, someone buy this for me, seriously)

Letter #2
Dear intestines
Hey down there, just a quick note.  You guys have been super cool with me, and I love you, but…
Could you guys adjust your schedule a little bit?  Is there any way you could not create massive amounts of toxic, noxious gas while I’m at work? My co-workers keep wondering why I only pick up patients that are in the ER for “explosive diarrhea,” but I have to cover it somehow.



Letter #3
Dear Coffee,
Voot voot voot! You’re better than sleep so much better so much better woot woot woot! Maybe not when you wear off but that doesn’t seem to be a problem as long as I drink more and sometimes I think it might catch up to me and thena lsdkfjalk;jasd l;jknl; zzzzzz


Letter #4
Dear Nose,
Is there any way you could stop functioning while I’m in with that guy who has the fumes coming from his rank feet? Seriously, I’m not sure who took off his shoes while he came in to “sleep it off,” but I’m certain the vapors are warping the wood of the cupboard. I guess it is ok due to the fact that my colon can at least take a break in his room. For your convenience I have attached Letter #2.



Letter #5
Dear Reproductive organs…
How YOU doin?




Letter #6
Dear feet,
This is a letter of apology. I know that there are about 234,983 different small toys that my child leaves on the floor. Most of them are pointy. I know I should turn on the light to look for them before going to bed. Legos, fun to play with, not to walk on.  Sigh, I know, my bad. I know I’ve said I’ll never do it again before, we both know this is a lie.

I’m sorry.



Letter #7
Dear ears,
I know, I know, I know. “The Phineus and Ferb ‘going to war'” song (click for awesomeness) is a brainworm. Listen, the kiddo loves the song. You better just get used to it, cause we’re going to listen to it a lot. You want me to mix it up? huh? You sure? I have “Cutie Mark Mixup” from My Little Pony as well.  I’m not afraid to listen to Let It Go for the 239847th time either.

Don’t worry, in 8 short years we can get back to listening to crappy techno.

Letter #8
Dear brain,
Hi there! You’re doing great! Good job! Um, life can get stressful sometimes so is there any way you could pump out some extra endorphins since you are so awesome and cool and wuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrgggggg…. ttttthhhhhhhaaaaaaannnnnnnnnxxxxxxxxx…

brain <– A pretty accurate brain map



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