An ER vending machine.
Sure, it does not seem like a brilliant idea at first, but many people dismissed the xerox machine when it was invented as well. Let us just start thinking a little outside the box, and see where we end up.
It sits at the front of the ER, where it keeps people out of the ER, saving millions and millions of dollars every day.
Unfortunately, this brilliant idea only works in a world where all of the people are reasonable, normal, intelligent humans.
We currently live in a world that thinks everyone else is crazy. I know I do. But, the scary thing is that those crazy people think you are crazy. The following is a list of items which would work out great in the rational world, but then I added a picture for each one why it might not work in the real world.
Here’s what is inside *(remember, this is for a world with all normal rational people):
1. “Hospital Grade” urine pregnancy test. Anyone who has worked in an ER knows that we get several people daily who come in to get a pregnancy test. I recently took care of a young female who said she just tested positive, but came in to be sure. You’ll be shocked to hear that yes, yes she was pregnant.
2. Work Excuses. Just press the button and out pops the pre-filled work excuse for two days. It comes out as a signed form, you can fill in whatever reason or ailment that caused your inability to show up. This saves patients time and money for both the patient and the ER.
3. Norco. You’re welcome. Make it like marijuana in Colorado. The US is filled with responsible adults, right?
4. Ativan. See#3
5. Birth control pills
6. Hammocks (sir, it appears you are blitzed out of your mind, but are fine otherwise, please go buy a hammock and stay in our swinging area till sober.
In a world filled with normal, rational people, what would you put in the vending machine?