Welcome to The Boss Level

I’m told that I’m great with kids.  Is it my personality, or our similar maturity levels?  Nah, I can relate to them on their level, and by their level, I mean through video games.

Have you looked into the eyes of any eight years old recently?  No, of course you haven’t.  Their eyes are continuously glued to video games.  Whether on a phone, Gameboy or other, they don’t look up.  It’s like someone super-glued their chins to their chests, making looking up impossible.

To them, you are an obstacle.  Ignoring you gives them +1 to resilience.  I understand this.  Pokemon?  Final Fantasy?  Zelda?  My pulse goes up just mentioning these words.  Real life just doesn’t have the rewards that video games provide.

Continuous action.  Immersion in epic journeys for the fate of countless lives.  How can a family vacation compare to eradicating the onslaught of the Zerg swarm?  Even mundane tasks become exciting in video games.  Consider this:

What if we had giant old-school Batman TV effects appearing all the time?

This is me everyday at work in the ER (better if you start the music now…)

[embedplusvideo height=”40″ width=”380″ editlink=”http://bit.ly/1hGxGhq” standard=”http://www.youtube.com/v/gROEEEgcfdE?fs=1&start=3″ vars=”ytid=gROEEEgcfdE&width=380&height=40&start=3&stop=&rs=w&hd=0&autoplay=0&react=1&chapters=&notes=” id=”ep5474″ /] – Just press play to enjoy the battle music…

Walking towards patients room, uh oh, my phone rings (-5 to concentration), it’s just a friendly EKG call.  I enter the room, the patient is covered in his urine (-5 hp), also he is cursing at everyone (-7 faith in humanity points).

“Hello sir, I’m Dr. Brandt (+2 friendship),” I say.

“OH YEAH, Well F*%K You! (-5 friendship),” he responds.

So I walk out of the room (achievement unlocked: avoid the drunk), and the I try to walk back to my desk but I’m stopped by a random encounter: Neurotic Parent (fizzle out to battle scene):

Parent attacks with <*I read this on the internet, immunizations kill babies *> (-20 intelligence)

I counter with <Logic and evidence based medicine!> (it has little effect)

Parent attacks with <*My child needs antibiotics!*> (-15 hp, stamina drain)

I counter with <Viral syndrome lecture> (it has little effect)

Parent attacks with <ain’t eaten in five days!> (-10 to hp, stamina drain)

I counter with <physical exam.  tears/moist membranes/ child is CURRENTLY DRINKING> (+20 hp, +20 mana)

See?  Wouldn’t that make life so much more exciting!  See!?  You don’t see.  Nobody sees.  Sigh.  Such is the life of visionaries like myself.

I guess this is just a round-about way of saying it, but the point of all of this is that sometimes you reach for the stars and fall on your face, but sometimes, sometimes, you grab that star and just for a short while, you’re invincible.


The following love song I put out there for all the younger brothers who never got the first controller (despite the pic, the video is PG)…

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