So I took care of this nice young woman the other day. She was pregnant and having pain. I did some tests and she and her baby were fine. Everything was going perfectly till her friend (I’m guessing 17 years old) started helping.
I fully encourage the asking of questions. I think problems often arise, especially in medicine, when even the simple questions go unanswered. Unfortunately, her friend mostly had comments. I’ll name her Bryttanee Barbie Bubblesworth, because that seems about right. Now remember, Brittanee was not even the patient, just a friend in the room.
Me (to the patient): “I’d like you to take Tylenol for pain, since that’s pretty much the medicine of pregnancy”
BBB: “Um, you know, Tylenol really doesn’t do much for pain”
Me: “I understand, but she has no pain now, she’s doing fine, if she is hurting, she can take Tylenol.”
BBB: “Can’t she have Vicodin for pain? ‘Cause my OB gave me Vicodin”
Me: “I’m not giving her Vicodin. She has no pain. She is feeling fine without complaint, I’m telling her that if she has pain, she can use Tylenol.”
BBB: “Well, Vicodin doesn’t even do anything for me anyways.
Me: “Fantastic. However, she’s the patient, and she is fine.”
BBB: “I usually get something stronger, so if you could hurry up…”
Me: (and this is society at its best)
I walk out of the room. I find getting scolded by an entitled 18 year old somewhat irritating, especially over not prescribing Vicodin to her friend who has no pain. I return a little later.
BBB (dramatic sigh): “Well, when can I have something to drink?”
Me (somewhat surprised since she never asked for anything): “Sure, come with me.”
I took BBB out of her room, just across the hall is a water dispenser that can be used by all. I showed her how to use it and I handed her two cups.
BBB: “Wait, so you want ME to get the water?”
Me: “Yeah,” I said, and then walked away.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not above getting water for my patients, especially if they are sick. But, when you are a fully capable 18 year old, who isn’t a patient, somewhat arrogantly demanding Vicodin for your friend who has no pain, this gets a little irritating. Needless to say, it was just another day in paradise.
Oh, that reminds me, she of course had a YOLO sticker or tattoo or wristband on. This is somewhat dated, but who am I to judge, I still quote Princess Bride nearly daily.
“YOLO” stands for “You Only Live Once.” The thought behind this is that you should embrace life and live it to the fullest. I think Jeopardy said it better, though.
What YOLO actually turns out to mean is “Your Odorous Liquid Ooze.” Which is their discharge after too many YOLO experiences. You may only live once, but you can get Chlamydia lots and lots of times!
Just in case you missed my last facebook post, how would YOU like some stuff for free?
Help me with Jayded, my novel coming out this year.
What’s in it for you?
Well, first of all, if you’re willing to help me promote it, you’ll get an very advanced copy of the novel. In addition, you’ll get behind the scenes secrets about book 2 (which is already finished, though unedited). Not only that, but you likely will help shape this and following novels. I will also put your name in the credits at the end of the book! I’m also working on other ideas/swag (T-shirts? coffee mugs? not sure just yet, I’m new to this ).
What I want from you.
1. I want you to read my novel and give me honest feedback (preferably finish the book before Jan 30).
2. When I formally publish it, you provide honest feedback on review sites (Amazon).
3. Help me with promotions (I’m planning on having business cards with the book and how to get it to hand out to people who may be interested in it, thus I’d ask my street team to help by spreading the love)
Interested? Let me know on Facebook (or here)