Dreaming Like a Boss

Unicorn Mr T foo

Mr. T and my brother who sent this pic to me are right.

You should follow your dreams, unless your dreams are bonkers-land crazy dreams like mine.

You know that feeling when you wake up, and the dream seemed so real, but then you start thinking about the dream and realize it may have been influenced by eating the spicy leftover guacamole which was actually leftover meatloaf from two months ago.


My dream went something like this… (wave your arms like in Wayne’s World)


So there I was with my ex-piano teacher’s son trying to buy asparagus.  We needed it  to bribe Skeletor who was standing in front of the limousine.

Well, it was a limousine but it also was a wheat thresher painted black with tinted windows.  Also, for some reason the thresher/limousine had an antennae topped with a cartoon head of Yakov Smirnoff continuously yelling “WHAT A COUNTRY!”

So we gave the Skeletor the asparagus and got into the thresher which turned into a submarine and then we were underwater surrounded by jellyfish-heads who all looked like Betty White singing the Macarena.

So after eating peanut butter and decapitated Betty White jellyfish sandwiches, me and Oprah Winfrey (she was driving the thresher/submarine) jumped out of the window into the ocean but we were actually high in the air and then we skydived onto a giant soft Laffy Taffy the just kept giggling with the voice of Samuel L. Jackson.

Then I had to mow Oprah’s lawn.

She kept throwing Pokemon at the crowd of people who came to watch me mow the lawn saying:

“And you get a Pikachu!”

“And you get a Squirtle!”

“And you get a Meowth!”

I had a moment of clarity when I thought to myself “how does Oprah know all these Pokemon?” until Pikachu talked to me, but he sounded like my brother, who then became my brother in a Pikachu costume and said:

“Aren’t you late for your haircut?”

…then I woke up.



Did that make sense?




Now you know how I feel trying to take the history from my unmedicated psychotic 40 year old patient.  She was (allegedly) allergic to Tylenol and underpants.

So how interesting was your day again?

(I really sometimes love my job)

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