Child-like Jealousy

I love taking care of kids from the ages of ~4-8.  Mainly because this is the age where logic has no bearing whatsoever on decision making.

My friend has a little boy.  Like all children he is crazy.

I’ll call my friend Mega-milk, since he downs that stuff like it’s filled with magical pixie-dust.  He was busy, on the phone, but his son had something VERY important.  I imagine it going like this.

Child: “Dad! Dad! Daaaaaad!”
Megamilk: “Just a minute,”
Child: “DAAAAAAD!”
Megamilk: (sigh), Yes?
Child: “IT’S TIME TO R-R-R-ROCK AND ROLL!” (and then the child runs off screaming).

There was no music. There was no mention of rock and roll nor of anything even tangentially related to his statement. He had never done this before. Why? Why do this? No idea, but it ruled.


Another one of my friends from residency also has a son.

His son called him “Batman” for 5 months. That was his name.

Not Dad.

Not Father.

Not anything related to parenting. Just “Batman.”

Such as:

“Batman can I have Cherios for breakfast?”

“Batman can I watch cartoons this morning?”

“Batman I don’t want to go to bed yet”

No reason. He just called him Batman for 5 months. No reason. No exception. He was Batman every day for five months.  To be honest, to this day I’m kind of jealous.

Every adult man wants to be batman.  It is true.

For those of you who’ve never heard the joke…  If you are about to have a child (as a soon to be mother), you should name him/her Gotham.  That way, when the baby starts crying at 3:30 in the morning, all you have to do is roll over and say to your husband:

“Gotham needs you…”

Your husband will spring out of bed like Batman to save the day.



One of my nurses has a son and the following conversation happened.


Nurse: Yeah, honey, what do you need?

4 y/o: Mom, I need a phone.

Nurse: Oh yeah, why is that?

4 y/o: Well, if the school burned down I’d need a way to let you know.

Nurse: Uh huh.


This is why we need to put warnings on capes, explaining to children that it will not make them fly.






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